©Quarterback Rushed

Radio personality Rush Limbaugh refused to back down from the comments he made regarding quarterback Donovan McNabb, as authorities confirmed he is being investigated for illegally buying prescription drugs.

The conservative commentator gave up his job as an ESPN sports analyst, three days after

Rush

saying on the sports network's ``Sunday NFL Countdown'' that the Philadelphia Eagles quarterback was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed.

Rush was quoted as saying ``I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well,'' Limbaugh said on the show. ``There is a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve. The defense carried this team.''

The drug allegations were actually first reported by the National Enquirer. CNN reported that individuals close to the investigation said Limbaugh had been identified as a buyer of powerful painkillers but that he was not the actual target of the investigation.

Premiere Radio Networks, which syndicates the political ``Rush Limbaugh Show'' to more than 650 stations, issued a statement from Limbaugh on Thursday saying: ``I am unaware of any investigation by any authority involving me. No government representative has contacted me directly or indirectly. If my assistance is required, I will, of course, cooperate fully.''

``The great people at ESPN did not want to deal with this kind of reaction,'' Limbaugh told the press. ``The path of least resistance became for me to resign.''

McNabb said he really didn't mind the criticism of his performance but was upset that Limbaugh made his race an issue. Democratic presidential candidates and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People criticized Limbaugh's remark, and Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie on Thursday called Limbaugh's comments ``despicable.''

Limbaugh has denied that his comments were racially motivated. He said at the convention that he had thought about the issue the night before making the comments and wanted to write an essay on it.

Limbaugh told the broadcasters that he was used to scrutiny and expects to get attention, saying that to draw in listeners, ``we want controversy.''

Limbaugh skipped his radio show Thursday to attend the broadcasters convention. He was scheduled to be back on the air Friday.

OP-ED

While I have no idea if Rush Limbaugh is racist or not, nor do I know if his comments were racially motivated. But I believe that if we look at his statement in question on the surface:

``I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well,''

I don't believe that this statement seems racist at all, sure he says "black" and "very desirous to do well" in the same sentence, I think what we have here is a case of over reaction.

Mr. Limbaugh is known for his controversial broadcasts and I don't think this is any different from what he does every day, force people to have opinions on an issue.

I don't know about this because its pure speculation, but if the quarterback would have said "The media gives me less attention because i'm black" then people would have shook their heads in agreement and said "that's so true, another case of white racism". While blacks can call each other "Nigga's" and call Whites "Cracka's" and people believe its becoming socially exceptable, whites could never say something like that in public because they would be ostracized.

I think the lesson to this is, although the Constitution gives us freedom of speech, society does not.

About Rush's drug problems, that's a personal issue and I don't care to comment on it.

© My Country is happier than yours, so nyah!

People in Latin America, Western Europe and North America are happier than their counterparts in Eastern Europe and Russia. According to a British study, an analysis of levels of happiness in more than 65 countries by the World Values Survey shows Nigeria has the highest percentage of happy people followed by Mexico, Venezuela, El Salvador and Puerto Rico, while Russia, Armenia and Romania have the fewest.

I AM HAPPY!!

But the weekly magazine said that factors that make people happy vary. Personal success, self-expression, pride, and a high sense of self-esteem are important in the United States.
“In Japan, on the other hand, it comes from fulfilling the expectations of your family, meeting your social responsibilities, self-discipline, cooperation and friendliness,”


The survey is a worldwide investigation of sociocultural and political change conducted about every four years by an international network of social scientists. It includes questions about how happy people are and how satisfied they are with their lives. It showed that average happiness has remained virtually the same in industrialized countries since World War Two, although incomes have risen.

The exception is Denmark, where people have become more satisfied with life over the last three decades.

Researchers believe the unchanging trend is linked to consumerism. “Survey after survey has shown that the desire for material goods, which has increased hand in hand with average income, is a happiness suppressant,”

OP-ED

In my opinion this study has some bizarre findings, if people in mexico are number two in happiness, why do thousands come to the United States every year? a country that is far behind them in happiness at 16th place?

why are the Nigerians so happy? their country has been racked by civil war and aids and they have a high high poverty level.

Does this study show that material wealth does not relate to happyness? I think the average person would agree with me, but if so then why are we always seeking it?

© ANGST: Cheaper By The Dozen

Target Audience aquired Cap'n

As many of you know I am a major supporter of the arts, this includes poetry. I have news that I think everyone will approve of, I would like to announce the purchase of Angst Publishers by Rootdown Inc. As Many of you know Angst Publishing has long been respected in the poet community as a reliable powerhouse. Creating such works as "I am sad" and "I hate you, Im joining a cult " the latter winning the prestigious Poe award.

Angst publishing was founded in 1911 by Rutherford Angst and Andrew Hertz in Boston Mass. The two men, teenagers at the time wanted an outlet where they and other teens of like mind could grab attention from readers and feel appreciated. Their first collection of poetry entitled "the great depression" was about the horrors of being a middle class white teenager. The two gained moderate success over the next fifty years but they sold Angst publishing to a young George Lucas for 50 dollars. Llucas advertised in the fantasy magazines which were rapidly becoming popular, he encouraged the youth to send in their works and for a moderate fee they could be published in one of ten volumes released over the next 15 years. With the rise of the dungeons and dragons sub-culture Angst found a new pool of untapped poetic talent, and George Lucas was able to sell Angst to Wizards of the Coast for 50 thousand dollars.

Since that transaction in 1975 Angst has grown by leaps and bounds with every new publication a new generation of rejected youth finds a voice, and now Rootdown owns a piece of this pie, not only a piece, but indeed the whole pie.

We would like to hear from you our readers so that some day we can publish your poems, but we would also like to give you examples of what we are looking for and what won't pass our standards. Over the years Angst has rejected and published poems by many famous writers, here is a list of authors you may have heard of and their respective poems.

One fish two fish red fish blue fish
this on drives a little car
this one has a little star

this one reads a cooking book
cooks Weiner on his fishing hook
cooking in a cooking nook with his fishing hook cook book

this one has thirteen humps, he is called Mr. gump's wump
we call him wump because he gos wump wump
every time he hits a bump his humps thump thump.

I'm sorry, at this time we cannot except your submission, our audience cant connect with your happy lines, and frankly only children would ever count fish this way, we like your style and I'm sure if you could create something that was a little more, how to put this, sad. I'm sure then we could accommodate you.

-Sincerely
Angst Pub.

Dr. Seuss #2

Sadness and trouble
bursting the bubble
mouths full of stubble rubble with shovels

I wish I was dead
look at fred
look at fred and ted's red dead sled

yurtle the turtle is now in the dirtle
choked on a bucket of eggs that weren't fertile

the grinch killed the who's and wears childrens shoes
has the blues in his sockless who shoes

A little more polish and it would be perfect! consider yourself published sir!

-Angst Pub.

Sadness fills my heart
like the black hole at the center of the universe
sucking me in with its quantum mechanics
like a quark I am so small
so insignificant

Although you use words that our readers will not understand we believe this means our criteria of people emotionally shallow yet depressing enough that it will reach our audience, we are accepting your poem.

-Angst pub.

Mr Hemingway clearly misread the directions and sent us an entire book which he aptly titled "Old Man and The Sea" we rejected it right off and suggested that perhaps he had been at sea a bit too long himself, we offered to publish some of his shorter pieces, but he never replied.

Note: Do not send us novels please, particularly novels with a message of any sort, we clearly state in the submission rules that we want depressing works, not anything uplifting or with plot. We want to represent the average American youth, and we can not achieve this by publishing that type of material.

-Fred "Fredex" Kovanen